Trash Squad Day 11 - SECRETS

[chinhotta]

Are you ready for it?! It's the long awaited final event! This is your last chance to get close before your final dates and the final bonus event!

And, back by popular demand, it's the motive vi—wait, no, not that. Well, I guess you're motivated to build your relationships? That's better anyway.

...Anyway! Check your tablets! You will find you have a few interesting video files! They should be familiar to you! The catch is... if you don't share each one with a different person by nighttime today, they will all be shown to everyone here! We'll have a fun midnight viewing party!

This may seem a bit cruel, but... love is cruel sometimes. Take it as an opportunity to get a bit closer to the people you care about, or everyone will learn a bit more about you! It's win-win when you think about it that way!

[ On your tablets are a minimum of 3 video files! There is no maximum; it's however many you OOCly want to deal with. Each video contains some sort of secret your character has—'secret' loosely defined as anything they would be uncomfortable being thrown up on a big screen in the auditorium in front of everyone. The presentation can be as simple as lines of text with embarrassing facts (Alice wet the bed until she was in junior high!) or as involved as a dramatically edited montage of the murders they committed through their whole life. Your choice!

Each file should be shown to a different person to count as 'shared'. If there is anything they do not manage to, or choose not to, share with someone in particular, comment with a brief description of it over here. These will all be shared publicly in a post which goes up on Thursday before the date announcement post. ]

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SUBMIT YOUR HOT OR NOTS AND DATE RATINGS by 6PM PST THURSDAY.
SUBMIT YOUR UNSHARED SECRETS ALSO by 6PM PST THURSDAY.

Comments

[lacrimose]

[Akira continues to study her intently; he can't deny his own interest in response to that hopeful look of hers. But instead of acting on it, he takes out his tablet. As he offers it to her, a video begins to play.

When it finishes, does he add as an explanation:]

... My body merged with a devil's, but my heart is still human. I'm a Devilman.

[discerp]

[She watches the video with a startled look, her face turning red as it goes on. But-- Ther's something like horror there too, because she is capable of regular human emotions, okay? It's just... It looks like something Enoshima would've enjoyed setting up. In fact, Ryo's joy over it all reminds her uncomfortably of the girl.

Still, it makes her a little breathless to watch the carnage; it reminds her a lot of both the horror movies she loves and the reality she'd lived for years, where blood and violence had been commonplace. It was different, yeah, since she'd been essentially brainwashed into it, but brainwashing didn't account for everything.

She wets her lips with the tip of her tongue and takes in a shuddery breath] Th-that's why... You were asking if I was human...

Ahaha... I suppose, I m-must seem really awful to you then... B-but, even if Akira-san is like this... I still like him. It's alright.

[lacrimose]

[Is she awful, or just too much like him for comfort? He hasn't made up his mind yet. He takes the tablet back a little too quickly once he's done, frown set in place, like he doesn't want to share anything else on there.]

If you were brainwashed into thinking that way, then... I still like you, too. Becoming a Devilman made me act in ways I never would have, before, so I know how it feels.

[He can't just blame it on Amon, either, when Amon's will is totally repressed. This is just demonic instinct enhancing what he thought and felt already.]

[discerp]

Um... [She pauses suddenly, and then:] Do you know why I became a nurse? [She smiles, because well no, he wouldn't, and despite her kind smile her words aren't very.]

I was beat up a lot, at home and at school. N-no one would take care of my wounds, so I learned to take care of them myself. After a while, I...just got really good at it. Good enough to be scouted for the academy I went to. Good enough to earn the title of "Ultimate Nurse."

But I was always weak. I guess people could just...sense that, even my own family. My existence was never fogiven, the fact that I existed at all...is terrible.

But Enoshima-san... Enoshima-san was the only one who forgave me for existing. Who made me feel like it was okay. I... loved her more than anything. I thought she was the only one who'd ever like me, love me, forgive me... And she exploited that terribly. Even without the brainwashing, I think I might have become something similar, if only because I was so scared to lose her and be alone again. I'd do anything to keep her.

But... Those things she brought out...Were all the terrible things hidden deep down inside of me. Any sort of attention was wonderful, and pain became pleasure. 'Despair' became...almost like a fetish. It's like...a drug. It's terrible, but it feels so good.

I thought...Maybe I'd shaken it completely, once I'd been 'cleared' of it, but even now, I can't deny those things that still get my heart racing, and I don't know if I hate it or not. I don't know if I should be disgusted with myself and hate myself, or just accept it.

[lacrimose]

[Akira listens quietly, tears beginning to form in his eyes.]

My friend Ryo... you remind me of him. He's done some terrible things, and he's the one who made me into a Devilman... but he's still my best friend. When I found him, he was all alone, with no memories. Adults were scared of him and never wanted to help him, so... I wanted to be there for him.

[maybe this would be where the penny drops that Ryo is madly in love with him in the same way Mikan became devoted to Junko, given the similarities, but no, that would be giving Akira too much credit. He goes on--]

You don't need forgiveness for existing. And even if you think or do bad things sometimes, that doesn't make you a bad person. You deserve people who care about you, just like anyone else.

[tenatively, he moves to pull her into a hug]

[discerp]

[Mikan makes a bewildered noise, like she's never heard such a thing in her life. She has, of course, because she doesn't just live in an abusive little bubble, but it's as shocking to hear the third or fourth or fifth time as it was the first.

She wants to believe in these things he says, but it's difficult. Her eyes tear up as well and she whimpers softly as she lets Akira hug her.] Akira-san... [She wraps her arms around him and buries her face into his shoulder, trembling terribly]

[lacrimose]

[Akira hugs her tight, tears rolling freely down his face as he cries for her, rubbing her back to comfort her even as she trembles.]

It's okay.