Day 7 Execution: Pincushion for the Pushin'

[pandatrash]

[The tablets fire up first thing in the morning with some lovely lounge music to set the mood:]



RESULTS:

Niles: 18
Corrin: 4
Hiyori: 2
Maki: 1
Lux: 1
Erika: 1

[The raccoons are waiting in the auditorium, dressed as precious little cupids, which is to say they have plastic wings and underwear (bloomers and boxers respectively) on, though admittedly their choices of "cupid's arrows" is a little suspect.]



CONGRATULATIONS MURDERFIENDS! YOU CHOSE RIGHT!

((Last words
Execution))

Comments

[suppressthedark]

[Someone who can't kill without a very good reason...? The words, unbidden, remind him of his hollow - screaming at him for needing to fight, trying to protect others while fighting with a sheathed blade.

Still, deep down, he knows Dazai is right - it wasn't his duty, it wasn't....but then, why did he feel like he failed? Like he was worthless?]

...I know. I know that, I...

[He's...shaking a little, eyes squeezed tight.]

I...I just - Dazai, I - I can't even do anything for him. I couldn't then, and I can't now...!

[Ah.

There's one of the deeper issues coming to light.]

[cw_suicide]

[why does this type of person always end up like this in front of him, as if he had all the answers?

well, he is the adult in this situation. so.

sighs a bit, putting his hand on Ichigo's head. pat. pat.]

You can't do everything, Ichigo-kun. But what you have done is protect people from being falsely convicted and killed. Niles-san committed the murder knowing the consequences. You prevented him from getting away with pinning the blame on someone else.

That he was scared and hurt changes nothing about the reality of that. He is only human and so are you--especially in this place.

[it's not like you could turn into a shinigami here anyway? so like? stop bringing your shinigami status into this.]

[suppressthedark]

[Clearly, Dazai attracts shonens.

He startles a little at the touch on his head, but listens to what Dazai has to say quietly, with little fuss. The words sink into his brain, dive under his skin and make a home there.

'You protected people from being falsely convicted and killed.'

It was true, and yet...his heart still mourned for Niles, his empathy getting in the way of his rational mind. Yet, he still had people around him who were willing to show him the good he had done, instead of letting him drown in his own sorrow and guilt - people who had their hands outstretched, waiting for him to take it.]

...Thank you, Dazai.

[His words are quiet, but sincere.]

[cw_suicide]

[. . . really.

why has people been saying these words more frequently lately?

it feels. completely off.

that ugly feeling of knowing earnest and honest people like this say it without understanding just how gross he is beneath the skin.

but he just smiles.]

You'll get there, but it'll be rough in the meantime.