randangonpa | Day 15

Day 15

[There are really only two important things to note about Day 15:

One, your tablet informs you that there's a killing night tonight! Tonight we're back to normal; only one murder, please!

And two, there is shitty prepackaged deli sushi in kitchen. So uh, y'know. Enjoy that.]

((Trust sheets - Due on Tuesday, 6pm PST
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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I...

[ He ducks his head a little as he trails off there. ]

I... could be worse.

[ There's just such a vast possible scale of worse. ]

[and "worse" does not necessarily make Akira feel better]

I'm sorry.

[he never actually said that, did he? when Futayo was found, and Shuichi was the one who presented the evidence and called for the vote]

. . . it must've been tough.

[ A choked noise that's half a laugh escapes his mouth. ]

Actually, I thought it was easier than it could have been, in some ways. I didn't know Futayo-san that well. She talked to me, I guessed what happened, and she confessed once I asked. It could have been way worse. ...It has been way worse, before.

What does that say, that I can think that? Even though Harukawa-san just died...

[. . .]

[taking a seat next to him, crutch lying on his lap]

It says that you've been through a lot of bad experiences you didn't deserve, and that you've had to make yourself tougher on the outside in order to survive them.

Maybe. But I have to wonder who I've made myself into. I... don't even know if I can do anything other than this, really.

[mmmm]

. . . I understand that.

But I don't think you can really know that while still being stuck in this kind of situation. You know?

Mm. I thought, when our other game ended, I'd get to see, but...

. . . but they give no rest for the weary.

[he says, distastefully. a bit bitterly]

Then we need to make sure this is your very last one.

...I don't know if that's possible.

[makes a questioning noise at that]

Why not? Or. . . are you just afraid that history will always continue to repeat itself?

...I don't know how I was brought here in the first place. Even if we somehow manage to figure out what's going on, stop this game, and destroy their entire operation, that only leaves me in the same situation I was before. There's nothing to say it won't repeat itself.

[honestly?]

There isn't.

[that's a harsh truth, but Akira won't deny it]

But that doesn't mean you stop fighting, right?

...I told you, right? I stopped fighting once already. That was the only way we managed to end it.

[ He curls up a little more in his chair. ]

But I can't do that now. Not while everyone else...

I didn't mean fighting here. I meant, after we all get out. Fighting to keep yourself from having to go through this a third time.

[he tilts his head, though]

What do you mean you can't?

There wasn't really much opportunity to fight coming here last time.

But I mean... I can't give up and abandon everyone else while you're still fighting. That's not ending things, that's just...

[ suicide ]

[again, another point. so Akira just lets out a small noise of affirmation]

Well. . .

I know you're tired, and I know you deserve to rest. But I'm-- kind of glad to hear that.