Day 21, post-execution

[pandatrash]

[After a grisly execution, eight remain alive.]

FINALLY, we have some winners! Kaiba, Mae, and Minako can now claim their carrots, dismiss their sticks, and retire from the game, which means that there are only four players left! Congratulations!

[Canned noisemaker sounds and a confetti effect on the tablets. Finally, the nightmare is over... or so the particularly optimistic or desperate among you might think. But when the intercom starts playing nothing but obnoxious raccoon laughter that goes on for about five minutes straight, those hopes may seem a bit more distant. Finally, they calm down enough to continue their announcement:]

As we were saying, four players left! Which means...



You dumbasses! You total shit-for-brains morons! Did you even read the rules? You win the game when there are ten remaining! Ten!! How are you supposed to get to ten now when you only have like two thirds that many players? You’re so stupid! Learn to math, dipfucks!

[More laughter ensues.]

Anywho, we haven't forgotten we still owe you guys for catching all those killers, so you can have an entire week off with no killing nights at all! Winners, you're free to hang out during this time — have a vacation! We insist.

Meanwhile, we’re gonna help you out by bringing in some more contestants! Kick back and relax while we go find you some new friends!

Or... maybe some old ones?

[The raccoons continue to laugh until the transmission cuts out.]

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Comments

[maege]

Can finding the thing absolve me of opening the stupid hall up in the first place? Can we call it even?

[please she was doing so well at not having any of her friends die for like, four whole days!! and now she sets them on fire!!! she's upset!!!!]

Minako, you're right, you're so right, we're bea— [COUGH COUGH HACK] Okay yeah so this is definitely the Earth Mother reminding me I messed up, which, fair, but, [HACK HACK] Gods we just wrapped this again, unbelievable, can we just, can I just, can this just, you guys.

[she's just sort of unhappily rapidfire mumbling to herself while also kind of rolling around on the floor making attempts to stand and giving up halfway through.

and then, clearer, kind of just yelling towards the floor while still half-lying down and trying to push herself up with her arms here:] WE'RE GOING TO BE FINE.

[falls back down]

The nurse's office is two floors doooowwwwn.

[she's...she's getting up]

[loveandwillpower]

Uuugh, who's the next best nurse who isn't me or dead.

I bet it's McGonagall and she's gonna juuuuudge us. [ More than she already might for all the murder, uuuugh, she definitely can't text her to come pick them up, mostly because she's already blown her text for the day and also because Minako fuckin' Aino doesn't need to text any mother figures she's too cool ]

I don't wanna tell McGonagall about this, I don't wanna take the stairs, let's just agree that Kaiba owes us his life double nowww.

[ not too cool to crawl to the elevator. slowly, hand over hand, like she's in a far side cartoon about being lost in the desert ]

If there's a bomb in the elevator what's the plan, I don't trust elevators not to pull anything shady.

[blueeyeswaifudragon]

After this? One life debt is enough.

[which is the same amount as before but shhhh. In the meantime, gets to his feet through the power of spite and stubborn pride; no bets on how long he'll stay there but there is no goddamn way he is letting any of those non-murdering assholes see him like this so he staggers down the right direction.]

...If there's a bomb in the elevator we celebrate that we don't have to deal with not having anyone with formal medical training. Otherwise, we take care of it ourselves.

[not thinking about the rest]

[maege]

I'm pretty sure if whatever that was happens in the elevator, the plan is just to die.

[ooookay well she's leaning real heavily against the wall, and also bleeding on it now, but she's slowly...making...progress...... the occasional pained squeak comes out of her but she's gotta make it to the elevator somehow!! everyone worth asking for help is already here!!! fuck this]

Let's just... Look, we're gonna be fine, w-we can probably figure it out? I've been set on fire better, but—Minako, do...you want a hand up?

[trailing off as she realizes how much she is not in shape to provide one, but, but, but. but

someone who isn't her is responsible for elevator button pressing though because look what the fuck happened behind the last door she opened???]

[loveandwillpower]

[ Crawling isn't actually that comfortable considering it involves, you know, moving her arms around, pulling at all the stuff in her back, whatever, nothing's gonna feel great and it's not like she's gonna make either of them drag her with the shape they're in! ]

I'm committed to the aesthetic, Mae.

[ Also she's not sure she's capable of walking now that the immediate fuckery and peril has gone by but whatever, Akira managed to walk off whatever happened with him and so it's not worth worrying these two about it! ]

This wasn't great fire, though, I'm going to complain to the newspapers, or the front desk - is better fire less deadly or more deadly, I can't tell with you.

[ Is she going to engage in shitty banter all the slow painful way to the infirmary? Damn right she is. The Minako will continue until morale improves. ]

[blueeyeswaifudragon]

[yup, see, dragging oneself zombie-like down the hall walking is a much better idea. just turn that pain into anger and let that rage power you, that is the kaiba way. that's why he is ready! to grouchily press all of the buttons! wow this is unpleasant.]

...Aino, if you need a hand up, just say something. Who knows what you'll catch crawling around on the floor like that.

And a better fire is a lot more deadly. If this fire even somewhat knew what it was doing, none of us would even have eyebrows left. This was just lazy work. If whoever made this was making bombs for me, they'd be fired.

[maege]

[some people??? use shitty banter???? to cope?????????]

Probably can't catch anything worse than on fire...

[thank god for elevator handrails though, things that aren't walls to lean on, technology is amazing, this is probably supporting her enough that she can actually reach down and physically offer Minako a hand? she's going to regret this she knows it already]

I didn't ask for a debate about fire quality, being set on fire is a better experience overall when it hurts less, that's all I was trying to s— [coughs some more, then, wheezing,] This is the stupidest semantics conversation I've ever had.

[loveandwillpower]

Is fire contagious?? Can't I get a shot for that, I'm not a fan of shots but this is even worse than the flu.

[ We're putting the antics in semantics. Minako manages to be helped up/crawl up Mae's leg like ivy going up a trellis, it's a disaster but she's gonna end it standing. ]

...Kaiba do you have a lot of people making bombs for you or what, what's that company even do.

[blueeyeswaifudragon]

Children's entertainment.

[congratulations on becoming upright. we are halfway to our goal]

[maege]

[do not ivy crawl up her leg she only has one uninjured one of those right now and she comes SO CLOSE to falling down in the process of getting minako upright but by god do they get it done. now they just have to start walking again but they can...at least lean on each other...???]

So, okay, bombs, just, things that count and then explode? I wanna make sure we're all on the same page before I try to make the connection here.

[loveandwillpower]

[ It's like the least fun three legged race possible, and Minako's trying not to notice that her hair is falling kinda forward around her shoulders like it's missing a big chunk in back that should be holding it together. ]

Yeah, sometimes you get a fuse and sometimes it's, like, you get a bunch of wires to cut and you snip the red one at the last second and it doesn't blow up.

What kind of children does that company cater to, future serial killers? Baby raccoons?! Who even is A? Akira? Aino?! What if my future self is here and trying to kill me, how bad would I have to screw up to be trying that.

[blueeyeswaifudragon]

Not the future; "A" is most likely from the past. This isn't the first death match that's happened here. We found records of previous "ultimates." I don't know what happened to them...but they've got to be who left those clues.

["we" = "Akechi" but Kaiba helped open the files at least??? plus they eventually make it to q-tip central infirmary, where in theory the tools, if not the experience, needed to not die in the next 24 hours are located. if nothing else, there are chairs and beds, which are awesome, and painkillers, which are MORE awesome, enough so that he's going to ignore the base slander to KaibaCorp, which is the best manufacturer of everything from card game accessories to milk]

...I find it hard to believe there are no explosives wherever you're from, Mae. This doesn't seem like your first explosive rodeo.

[maege]

[yeah mae's gonna make more focused efforts to not die later, first she's going to make sure minako gets put down okay and then she's going to collapse face first on a bed. bye.

muffled into the pillow:] I'm a simple girl with simple needs, Kaiba; I see a problem, I shoot lightning at it, it sometimes blows up. There's usually way less boxes involved.

[and then, half picking herself up so she can at LEAST project her voice enough to sound indignant,] Okay so hopefully the clues we found while I wasn't paying attention were useful and all but did they leave an explosive there too?! Are they helping or not?!

[loveandwillpower]

Man, what happened to them, what if I know some of those people, if this is Ami and she never told me I'm gonna be cheesed off.

[ Face first is the optimal position to be in because the other side is where all the shrapnel is. Minako eyeballs the sorry state of Mae's visible surface area from the other bed. She's been a solo crimefighter, she knows that stuff's gonna need to come out, and uuuugh she doesn't wanna do it, she hates being the responsible one. ]

Kaiba, toss me some tweezers before I talk myself out of this. You know what would be great, since the game's breaking down and all, some kinda healing powers, that'd hit the spot.

...Moon Gorgeous Meditation!

[ Pointing at Mae. Is anything happening? Nope, still blood, still all kinds of junk and none of it the benign kind of junk you find in the trunk. ]

Worth a shot! Maybe there's a sexy doctor book in the library that isn't blown up.

[blueeyeswaifudragon]

[hey, there is nothing benign about junk in the trunk ~sassy eyebrow waggle~ but yeah, kaiba rustles up some tweezers and whatnot in addition to the regular suspects of disinfectants and burn creams and bandages and those sticky things that aren't staples that keep your skin together and whatever else seems useful. also a mirror, so they can check the damage to important hair and whatnot]

I don't think meditation is going to get us out of this.

[well, it might, but whatever]

The files we found didn't have everyone's life stories, just the same short descriptions as we've got on our tablets. I haven't had a chance to explore further...there's been a lot of distractions. So I can't say why they'd leave a bomb in there...or whether they were the ones who left that trap in the first place. Usually I'd send someone to investigate...