ENDGAME/EPILOG

[pandatreasure]

[In the control room, the raccoons float quietly in their pods; none of the wild cackling from before, no raucous mocking—Where did those pesky animatronics go, anyway? Maybe not every question has been answered, but...how much does it matter? The lost souls are back, tangible and whole, though marked still by whatever's done them in. Maybe those scars and aches won't fade, either.

A metric fuckton of experimenting has gotten us to the answer of how to get back to where we belong: the first control room console makes it easy to find the thumbnail of your world, and, when selected, it automatically brings you to twenty two days from moment you were kidnapped from. It's easy to see an image where you should be there and aren't, and simply select it. The program confirms that you'd like to initiate the transport process, and directs you to stand on the glowing platform; have someone hit the button to shut the process down, or it will time itself out in five minutes.

Is the moment you were brought from not good enough? What about the rewards you were promised? It seems as though specifying those offers or threads isn't quite possible, but the console has two options, each manipulable independently of each other: you can control the date and time, allowing yourself to return as though you hadn't been kidnapped at all. You can also use a slider at the bottom to control the quality of the universe you're brought back to, sliding from the carrot to the stick side: A world where everything that possibly could have gone right for you and those you'd want it for does, where every choice and chance resolves in your favor...or one where there isn't a single moment that isn't conspiring to work against you.

It should be that simple, but...none of those are your universes. Trying to go to any universe but the one marked for you, and/or at any point but that three-week span you've been gone, prompts a warning message about a duplicate version of anyone belonging to that world. It asks if you'd like to proceed, and warns you once more by giving names of potential "doppelgangers"—but will not stop you from stepping onto the platform as it twinkles blue light, regardless. Is improvement worth interfering, maybe destroying, the life of another you?

That choice is up to you. For the first time in a long time, these choices are yours.

It's over. Happy graduation day.]

Comments

[theyregooddogs]

You're a greater risk than an asset. But with your hands dirty, you could start to turn that around.

[purrtagonist]

[he flinches, honest to got flinches, at that. because there's a note of truth to it. what was it that helped him and Akechi bridge the trust gap between them?]

Did he ever tell you what happened between us?

[theyregooddogs]

No. Didn't really have to ask, so it didn't come up.

[purrtagonist]

[based on how Will has spoken before, Akira thinks he managed to figure it out on his own. so he doesn't press]

You talk like you know our dynamic so well. You always have.

Why do you always focus on me as the one who needs to change?

[theyregooddogs]

I know everyone here well. Been inside your heads enough. So, don't feel too special.

I've been pushing Akechi to change, too. But he's lost and he's killed, because of that he's primed to adapt and evolve in order to survive. His framework isn't going to change that quickly, though. Regression is going to happen. If you can't understand him when that occurs, you could unintentionally trigger old trauma. Everything could just — Dissolve.

[purrtagonist]

[his gaze narrows at that slightly, but he doesn't automatically put up his defenses]

Do you think I'm unable to understand him?

[theyregooddogs]

No, you can. To a point, you can read him like he was a part of you. But past that point? You're in the dark. Walking blind, unable to connect anything to your reality.

[rubbing his face with both hands then pausing mid-motion]

You're unnerved by that? Because you wonder if that dark space doesn't exist in you too.

[purrtagonist]

[. . .]

I don't wonder. I know that it does.

[it's the reason he killed Erika. the reason he was able to make that choice, despite every inch of him screaming for him not to go that far]

But even so, he and I are still very different. Understand has to go two ways.

[theyregooddogs]

You're just lacking time and experience . . . Welcome to the worst of what we are.

[looking up as he stretches, mentally shaking off Akira's mind from his own]

No. It doesn't. He's going to recognize the unfamiliar parts of you as something inexplicable but unavoidable. For years, decades even. He may never understand the bonds you have and what they are for as long as he lives. But not knowing doesn't endanger him or anyone else.

You not understanding him, even distantly, does.

[purrtagonist]

It isn't what I lack that keeps me from becoming. . . [like Akechi? like Will?] It's who I am deep down.

[his restraint. his ideals. his belief. his knowledge of himself. or so he thinks]

Not knowing does endanger him, though. Because creating and forging new bonds of his own is part of his own growth. And to do that, he needs to understand how they're formed.

[theyregooddogs]

Mm. Try not to forget that.

No, he doesn't. He'll create his own language and logic as he processes through it, adapting and evolving the same as ever. He found Shuichi, didn't he? It won't look like what you or even I do, but it will function just fine.

[purrtagonist]

I won't. I can't.

And you're right. What he forges won't look like what you or I have. He did find Shuichi and, in a way, you too.

[as much as that really grinds Akira's gears. as much as Akira fears what kind of influence or control Will might have been able to exert over someone who was pined under the thumb of crappy adults his whole life]

That part is fine.

But he still needs to understand. Or. . . maybe it's more like I want him to understand.

[because if he doesn't, then there's no way he and Akira can continue being friends]

[theyregooddogs]

He won't, Akira.

There's a reason I've been driving a wedge between you two. Because you're not going to like the alternative, if you keep playing with fire.

[purrtagonist]

[holy shit]

[stiffens immediately at having that fact confirmed, because truthfully, it had always sort of. . . felt like that. but Akira had focused so much on Will's actual attempts at helping that he had never voiced those concerns]

That isn't for you to determine.

[theyregooddogs]

Both of you will override my manipulations if and when you want to. It'll become another stone in the bedrock of your bond.

. . . I need a drink. Do you want a drink?

[purrtagonist]

So, what? You're doing us a favor?

[his words are clipped again, and he shakes his head]

. . . no. I don't.

[theyregooddogs]

Can't blame you.

[glancing around . . . then, yeah, going to head off in hunt of bourbon]

[purrtagonist]

[. . . he doesn't really have any last words, so as Will turns away to hunt for bourbon, Akira debates for a moment about just letting him go. there's a pause, a second of silence, before Akira mutters--]

Damn it. . .

[he scrubs at his face, before trotting forward to catch up, to follow wherever Will is leading]

[theyregooddogs]

[oh, you're coming, cool . . . not actually rushing, just going to a nice, private place in a somewhat casual manner, and also enjoying the act of breathing. leaving the door to his room open for akira (thoughtful) and pausing when he puts the bottle on his desk, thinking]

How irredeemable am I to you?

[glancing at Akira then going to pouring, one glass with two fingers of whiskey]

[purrtagonist]

[Akira kind of hovers near the door entrance, instead of entering the room proper, shoulder leaning against the frame. there's hesitation before his response, a moment where he tries to gather his words, to remember what his own justice feels and looks like]

[when he speaks, it's slowly, and with purpose]

I don't believe anyone is completely irredeemable. I don't believe any one person is just "good" or "bad," either. Good people can do bad things. Bad people can do good things.

[a breath]

It isn't a question of redemption for me. It's forgiveness.

And since I wasn't the one directly affected by your actions. . . that isn't something for me to decide.

[theyregooddogs]

So, completely. Good to know.

[and drinking]







[pouring again when the glass is empty]

[purrtagonist]

[DOESN'T. . . REFUTE THAT, although that is not exactly what he meant]

Why did you ask?

[theyregooddogs]

Wanted to hear you say it. In less words than more, but beggars and choosers.

My, hm, "Akechi", for lack of a better term because they truly do not belong in even the same thought together— I walked away from him.

[purrtagonist]

You told me about that, during one of our very first actual conversations.

[the reason why he quit the FBI]

[theyregooddogs]

Actually, no, I didn't. That was one of the, ah, other psychopaths in my grisly past? Managed to piss off a few of them in my time at the bureau.

[swirling the liquid in his glass around]

"He" is tangentially related to how I survived that night. More someone else than him, but he was there.