randangonpa | Day 6 - Final discussion before the second execution

Day 6 - Final discussion before the second execution

[This morning, a video of Tycoon auto-plays on everyone's tablets. He is in a dimly lit room, and seems to be eating pudding out of a bicycle horn...? Whatever, the raccoons are weird.]

Today’s the day! Are you pumped up? Psyched out? Pissed off? Done in? Hehehehe!

Everybody better vote today for who you want to be PUNISHED! If you don't vote by the time the timer reaches zero, your vote will be randomized! Just like it now says in the rules!

I, Tycoon (only Tycoon), will still answer one question per person if you haven’t cashed yours in yet! Rule clarifications are free, by the way! Also, quit freaking out about the people who are off crying in their rooms or whatever! You already have all the alibis you need to solve the mystery!

((Navigation
Recyclr
Day 5 Q&A with Tycoon
Today's Q&A with Tycoon
Vote! It says midnight Friday, but it's technically midnight Saturday. 11:59 Friday, WHATEVER.))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Fair? None of this is fair!

[He loses his temper for the first time since the body was found, minor flareups at Erika notwithstanding.]

They're fucking laughing while we kill each other and then have to figure out who did it! Just watching us suspect each other knowing that one of us is going to be executed tomorrow, regardless if they actually murdered Sigma or not! Fair isn't in their goddamn vocabulary!

[He very nearly slams the coffee cup on the countertop, barely managing to not spill it on himself or the counter itself, putting his arms on the marble and covering his face in his hands, breathing harshly.

It's taken a whole day and night, but Ichigo's manufactured composure has finally, finally broken.]

-- you don't think I know that!

[it isn't Ichigo's fault. Akira isn't raising his voice, matching his volume because he's angry at him, too. he grips the edges of the counter, shoulders hunched, eyes slipping shut]

Every part of this investigation, this sham of a "trial," is just us doing exactly what they want us to do! And the most we can do is comfort ourselves by saying, "it's for Sigma, it's justice for Sigma, we have to find Sigma's killer." But that's bullshit, and everyone here knows it. This isn't justice, this is cheap, trashy entertainment.

[DEEP BREATHS, DEEP BREATHS. . .]

[he forces himself to calm down, especially when he opens his eyes again and sees Ichigo slumped over the counter. ah. . . he might have. gotten a little carried away]

[that hard expression softens. he rocks over to the side, bumping his shoulder with his fellow captive's]

. . .

[sometimes, Akira isn't good with words. but he kind of hopes that small bit of contact expresses what he's feeling for him]

I know!

[Even slumped over, he still yells back when Akira does, his anger and despair definitely misplaced, but spilling out now even if he tried to reel it back in.]

I know we're just doing what they want us to do, but what else can we do?! We weren't able to fucking trust each other for 6 goddamn nights, and now we all have to participate in choosing who's going to die next! I can't - I can't do anything here but see people die in front of me, and I don't even know what happens to people when they die here! So the most I can do is throw myself into finding the killer, because I can't be a shinigami or a protector when I have to suspect everyone around me!

[Greatest fear: Being unable to protect anyone.]

Edited 2017-12-22 01:37 (UTC)

[He stops talking all at once, his breaths and body practically shuddering with the force of the emotions running through him as he just buries his head deeper into his hands.

He had to be strong. He had to be the one that didn't flinch or cry when seeing a body, because everyone else would be in shock, and someone had to step up to the plate. He could react all he wanted in private, but people would depend on him, and how many expressions of thanks had he gotten for being the one to gather up the parts of Sigma's body?

He had to do this, because if he didn't, he was useless. What good was all his power when he couldn't reach it, couldn't even see the souls of the dead to soothe them? And what good was a protector who couldn't even save the people in front of him?

When he feels the shoulder bump, he stops breathing hard - and slowly lowers his hands from his face, looking over at Akira before focusing on the countertop in front of him, silent.

After a long moment, he speaks.]

....I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you.

[Akira's silent throughout the second outburst, and this time? he manages to keep his own under wraps. because he has to, right? if someone else is cracking under the pressure next to him, then he's the one who has to stay composed. stay calm. hold them up until it passes. that was his job as a leader back home-- and he'll dutifully accept it as his job here, too]

[he offers Ichigo a wan smile, and bumps against his shoulder again, this time lingering, leaning against him]

It's fine.

[ha]

I yelled, too. That makes us even, yeah?

[an attempt!! at some lightheartedness!]

[He smiles, even if it's a little weary this time.]

Yeah. Even.

[He almost freezes up a little at Akira leaning against him, because he's not that used to physical contact - the last person he allowed to be so freely affectionate with him died because of him, after all - but after a moment, he allows himself to relax and lean back a little.

It's only been a few days, but Akira feels like someone he'd trust with his life in a heartbeat - and in a situation like this, that's only a good thing. And hopefully, he can be someone Akira relies on, too.]

...Your coffee was pretty good.

[We just had a moment - so time to switch to subjects that don't get their emotions in a tizzy.]

[it isn't like Akira's outwardly affectionate all the time, either. in fact? he's pretty reticent with it, unless he absolutely trusts the person on the receiving end. six days isn't a long time, but six days in murder school hell feels like an eternity]

[he's exhausted. he barely slept. give him a break for lowering his walls a little bit]

[he huffs a laugh at that, once again reaching for his own mug]

Mine didn't turn out so great, but I'm glad yours is exquisite as anyone can make instant coffee.

[They can both agree on it feeling way longer than six days, that's for sure.

He smiles, grabbing his own cup and taking another swig since it's cooled down some.]

Hey, I'm pretty easy to please. You put hot chocolate in this, right?

[Remember what his likes are on his profile, Akira?]

[wags his brows knowingly]

It's a little trick I learned back home. I use it on my best friend, too. He wouldn't touch the stuff otherwise.

[Ryuji and his hatred for coffee]

[plus also, chocolate is on Ichigo's profile as a like, so. you know. legit]

It's a good trick - Mochas are popular for a reason.

[Honestly, he's comfortable enough with Akira to mention that he likes chocolate, since Akira most likely won't make fun of him for liking such a 'girly' food.]

[plz there is nothing "girly" about liking chocolate]

They are. Though Boss would probably have my hide if he knew my hot cocoa powder secret.

[huffs out a laugh and wags his fingers at Ichigo when he says "secret," like it's some kind of voodoo spell or something]

[According to Japanese society it is]

Boss? Someone from back home?

[He hasn't heard Akira talk about that yet, so he's in the dark.]

[. . . you know what? he's been pouring over this stupid Recyclr message all morning. he's tired, he barely slept, and his coffee is a little too bitter for his tastes]

[HE DESERVES A GODDAMN BREAK]

Mmm.

[he responds in affirmation, once again taking a sip of his drink. he tries not to make a face when the bitter taste washes over his tongue. yuck. do better next time, Ultimate Barista]

My guardian. [a father-figure, although he doesn't say that aloud] I spent a year living in the attic above his coffee shop.

[Break time is a good time, especially if you've got coffee. Besides, it's nice to talk to someone about things other than who killed Sigma right now.]

A year? Why just a year?

[He's tired, so he hasn't made the connection about Akira's record yet - or that his family shoved him to someone else, because that's just so alien to his own ways of thinking about family.]

[BUCKLE UP ICHIGO, YOU'RE ABOUT TO LEARN]

That's how long my probationary period lasted. I spent it in Tokyo, living with a distant friend of a friend of my parents'. After it ended, I went home.

[draws his finger around the edges of his mug]

Well, I was going home, before I was brought here.

[-Oh, right...the false charges he'd had. Ichigo's gaze darkens a little at the reminder, and even in his sleepless state, he makes the connection between being sent away and the charges.

He doesn't say anything, but he's clearly not happy with the thought, scowling down into his own mug.]

...I see.

[Akira said he didn't regret it - and Ichigo understood that, but...how could someone's parents just shove them away in order to pretend like there was nothing wrong? Isshin might not have told him things, but his father at least loved him regardless of what he did.]

I'm glad you had a more peaceful memory before waking up here than I did.

[Being literally blamed by a dying man, well...it's a hard memory to deal with.]

[hahahahaha ask Akira about his feelings on his parents sometime, Ichigo. but for now? Akira goes with the flow of the conversation, and takes the subtle invitation to ask--]

. . . what did you remember?

[It'll inevitably come up in one of their conversations, surely. But for now, Ichigo is silent - until that same look comes onto his face, the same one he'd had when he talked about Ulquiorra a few days ago.]

'...The path is closing, Ichigo.'

[His voice flat as he speaks, reciting from memory.]

'The path to a world with no fear. The living world...Hueco Mundo...and Soul Society - they were all meant to become one. Life and death, twisted and fused together - they were destined to be one and the same. But now...that will likely never happen, and you have yourself to thank for it, Ichigo.'

[He looks down, closing his eyes.]

'Sadly, because of all your actions here, life and death will never lose their current forms, and all those who breathe will continue to pass each and every day by, living in fear of death...for all eternity.'

...That was the last thing Yhwach said to me as he was dying from my final attack.

[jesus fucking christ, that's heavy. Akira's expression immediately sours]

Compared to the alternative-- [well, he has no idea what life and death would look like twisted and fused together. but he can't imagine it'd be anything good, so what Ichigo did is probably for the best]

[however--]

. . . I know you're a shinigami. But it sounds like you carry the weight of so much death on your shoulders every single day.

[because that's, like. a lot. and it's admirable that Ichigo is capable of facing that responsibility with his head held high]

[Akira's not sure he could, and he shot a false god in the fucking head]

...In my world, there's a balance. The living world on one side, and the dead on the other. Keeping them in equilibrium is the only way life and death can work, with souls going from either side in a circle.

He wanted to destroy that. He wanted no one to die, but no one would live - so no one would grow old, but...no one would be born.

[He'd had time to think about it here, in the school - late at night, putting pen to paper.]

So everything would just...stagnate. Because...he was afraid of dying himself.

[And yet, even as he talks about it, there's no venom in his voice. Instead, what there is? Is pity and understanding.

He shakes his head at Akira's comment, looking over quietly.]

I've just gotten used to it, honestly. And...I'm grateful for it, because I had the power to protect everyone. So...it's not even a weight I notice, anymore.

[. . . man. one day, Akira should tell Ichigo about Yaldabaoth, too. only his god was far less pitiable than Ichigo's]

. . . I admire that.

[he tilts his head a bit, pulling up a genuine, earnest smile]

Your strength. Your compassion. I tell you to let someone else support you for a change, but it's awe-inspiring that you can carry so much. . . and still be the person you are now.

[and he means that]

[He shakes his head, firmly. He'd been hearing that a lot from other people, but he wasn't anything special in his own mind - he was just someone who was stubborn enough to keep going, despite the odds stacked against him.]

It's nothing like that. I just...I won't let anyone who needs help be ignored, and I just do the right thing. Even if I don't have the power to change things, I refuse to just give up when people need me - even if the future looks bleak. It's what anyone would do.

[He pauses, taking a sip of his coffee, before looking over at Akira and giving him a smile that borders on one of his true ones.]

...Besides, you're more of an inspiration. You're able to keep doing this, even though it hurts...and you're strong enough to help support people when they want to give up. You're able to lead people so well, and I...well, I think that - and you - are really amazing, Akira.

[jesus christ ichigo he didn't ask for this earnest sincerity shit]

[PROMPTLY SHOVES A HAND IN ICHIGO'S FACE]

Day 6 - Final discussion before the second execution

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